


Whatever we are

by B2Min



Category: NU'EST
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 21:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B2Min/pseuds/B2Min
Summary: A skinny love situation, starring Dongho/JR





	Whatever we are

“Take care of him, Jonghyun-ah.”

That was the last thing Minhyun had said to Jonghyun, the day he moved out of their dorm.

_Don’t I take care of everyone?_

_Isn’t that my job as leader?_

Jonghyun didn’t understand then; he understood now.

Dongho was the real baby of the group.

Sure, Ren was technically the maknae but Ren didn’t actually like being babied or ‘taken care of’. He liked his independence too much, pulled disappearing acts and generally rejected excessive attention.

Dongho, though. Of all of them, Jonghyun realised, Dongho had the purest soul. His music choices notwithstanding. (He’d caught Aron sniggering at some of the songs Dongho would recommend to them to listen. When pestered Aron would just say, “They’re all about sex.”)

They’d all been babies, technically, when they started out. Too young to really know what they were doing, young enough to believe it mattered, to put their heart and soul regardless of the reception they got.

Together, they’d been through so much. But Dongho? Ah. He’d been through far too much.  


Jonghyun had tried, once, watching Produce 101 reruns. Before shutting them off each time MNet would play the damn jungle music when Dongho came out.

It wasn’t Dongho’s fault he looked more mature, more manly than the rest of them. At heart he was just as much a kid as they all were.

Now that Minhyun was gone, Dongho tended to look so lost. Like an abandoned puppy, Minki had put it once.

Dongho was a great buddy. The kind who’d have your back, who’d bring up the rear, who’d do what it took to help out his friends. He liked attention (what idol didn’t?) but he didn’t like to lead.

 _Someone has to take care of him, Jonghyun-ah_ , Minhyun had said.

Jonghyun felt like the worst of leaders to only really get it now.  


So if maybe, maybe he was making up for it a little by babying Dongho every chance he got, could anyone blame him?

It wasn’t like he was the only one.  


Something unspoken, but something known - that Minhyun’s absence meant a huge void for Dongho. Not that he loved him more and the other members less. It was just…everyone had their own role to play  


It physically hurt - to think about Dongho having to hide, stay away from cameras and public events. To avoid anything more than the barest minimum of publicity.  


_You don’t matter any less, Dongho._

_We need you now and always, Dongho._

_We won’t forget about you, Dongho._

Now, now everything was better and everyone could see the Dongho they knew - the brother, the joker, the baby, the princess. Their Dongho.

But Jonghyun didn’t want to stop babying him. He didn’t know how.

***

“Has Dongho eaten?”

“Is Dongho up? Never mind, I’ll go wake him, don’t worry about him, Aron.”

He didn’t feel he was neglecting anyone - Minki would make it quite clear when he wanted or needed attention as did Aron.  


They’d had schedules that day and for once, a sleepy, but up without prompting Dongho was ready without Jonghyun having to shake him awake.

“You don’t always have to be looking out for me, Jonghyun-ah. You’ve got all your other activities too. Don’t get sick again. It was so scary to see you in the hospital.”

“You were scared for me, Dongho-ya?” He didn’t often get to tease Dongho; this was fun.

It was no fun when Dongho gave him the kind of look he would get from little children. Earnest, scared little children.

“Who’d look after us, Jonghyun-ah?”

It felt the right thing to do, then, to pat his head, comfortingly.  


Just as Ren and Aron left their respective rooms to join them.

The both of them gave each other a long, silent look.  


“I think Minki and me are gonna go grab coffees in my car. See you guys!” Aron walked out the door quickly, a readily acquiscing Minki (as rare as blue moons) trailing behind.

Before Jonghyun could suggest they all go together, the two of them were gone. It couldn’t be helped - the car for them had already been called so at least part of the group had to be in it.

His phone beeped.

“The car’s here, Dongho-yah, let’s go.”

“OK.” Dongho walked up to Jonghyun, grabbing his hand as he pushed the door open.

The old Jonghyun would joke that Dongho was too old to need a minder. That he didn’t need to have his hand held all the time.

This Jonghyun? This Jonghyun decided to just shut up.

***

Tonight, it’s one of their last few concerts as Nu’est W and Jonghyun’s relieved. He can’t wait, the fans can’t wait to have Minhyun back. To have them whole again.

But he’s looking at Dongho’s hand in his, their fingers intertwined and he realises, he doesn’t want this one, new thing to change.

“When Minhyun comes back,” he whispers, so no one else can hear, so the mics won’t pick it up on stage, “Are you going to stop holding my hand?”

“Only if you stop.”  


“I don’t want to, Dongho-yah. But only if you don’t mind.”

“Why would I mind? You do it because you love me.”

If there wasn’t a huge crowd watching them right now, Jonghyun was pretty sure he’d pass out.

“What do you…I mean…I?”

“Does it matter?” Dongho says. And shrugs.

“It’s whatever it is, we’re whatever we are. And I’m happy as long as you’re happy, Jonghyun-yah.”

 _I’m happy as long as you’re happy_. The words ring in Jonghyun’s head, reverbating in his heart, culminating in Jonghyun squeezing Dongho’s fingers tighter.

Dongho squeezes back, right as he whispers in Jonghyun’s ear: Let’s always be happy, Jonghyun-ah.”

 


End file.
